How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Randomize
