So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
