Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Randomize
