it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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