I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Drake has all the answers
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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