Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Randomize
