I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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