Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
