I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
