I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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