I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
