Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize
