i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
She needs sedatives and a leash
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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