Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
