whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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