My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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