I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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