THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
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