Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
