come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Randomize
