dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
only if we run a train.
done.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Randomize
