I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Randomize
