every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
