He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
