walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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