What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
