I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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