i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Randomize
