Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
it's like iHOP with fire
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
