and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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