its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
the day after is always just damage control
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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