She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
