I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
