Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
