I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
