I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
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