ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Randomize
