I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
