Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
