Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
