I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
