I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
