people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
