you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Randomize
