Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
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