I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
