Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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