I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
what day is it and did you see me today?
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
wow bdsm is so cute
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
