What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Randomize
