how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Randomize
