There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Randomize
